euthanasia and the medal of bravery

Poor old Que. She has been such a trooper. A good and loyal dog. Even in her days of illness and weakness, all of the other dogs still respect and fear her - as do the cats.

I have been writing about her saga for a while now. It all started in the summer, when she was diagnosed with cancer. She was 14 in September, and so has lived a good, and a long life by dog standards. She has not seemed to be suffering any pain, only blows to her dignity, so we have avoided euthanasia. I have been changing her bandages and washing her daily for the last 6 months. We tried arsenicum to give her her own decision on whether to keep going, but it is time for us to make the hard decision.

We have a babby coming in 2 months, and the stench of her cancer is pervading the house. She has also taken to crapping in the kitchen lately. Last night and this morning, she had horrific smelling diarrhea, and it was all over the kitchen, and her. This has become untenable with the imminent arrival of the babby. I am just too worried about bringing a new-born into a house full of disease.

We have decided to end it this week. J called the veterinarian this morning to arrange to have her put down this week. It breaks my heart to do it, but I feel that we have little other choice. She can barely haul herself up the 4 front steps to get inside, and her world has shrunk to the kitchen, and the front yard and sidewalk in front of our house. She has absolutely no quality of life left.

I have given her this medal (from the Bataan Death March) for her heroism in defying death. We will not receive any such commendation, as we have succumbed to the inevitability of it for her.

I'm very sad today, and humbled.